How to Overcome Self-Sabotage Part 8 – Settling for Less

Written by: Kathy Best, CRRC, ACCR, PSDC, CNT, September 9, 2019

Settling for LessThis pattern is another learned behavior that typically stems from childhood role models, parental programming, or abuse and neglect. Do you see a theme here? Almost every self-sabotaging behavior can be traced back to childhood and sometimes even ancestral contracts. Instead of resigning yourself to low standards and half-hearted attempts at self-improvement why not make yourself and your life the most important achievement you can conceive of? It can be daunting to give your all to something not knowing how it’s going to turn out. On the other hand you could spend the rest of your life working towards other people’s goals and come to the end of your life wondering what if…… Isn’t it better to ask for forgiveness for the mistakes you make following your dreams than to leave life regretting never even trying? When you sit by and watch life pass you by because you fear failure or success or you feel you have nothing of value to offer, you might as well say I was born without a brain, a heart, a soul, or a body and therefor I do not exist and cannot contribute. You are rejecting your power, potential, unique genius, divine gifts, and life experience and telling the Universe that It made a mistake, you were not supposed to be here, you do not want to participate, and you don’t care what happens to you or anyone else.

If that’s the way you truly feel then you probably should stop reading this right now and go back to your mediocre life. If, on the other hand, there is even the tiniest part of you that knows there has to be more to life than what you are currently experiencing and you want to live a life of passion, purpose, power, unlimited potential, heartfelt service, creative success, and make a positive impact on the people around you and the world at large then keep reading.

Feeling like you’re not good enough to handle any situation is self-defeating, short-sighted, unproductive, and completely inaccurate. It destroys your courage and confidence and prevents you from setting goals or taking calculated risks that could improve your life and the lives of others.

In order to transform yourself from a resigned, discontent, underachiever into a resilient, grateful, super success you need to have a mission and a purpose. You need to find something that ignites a fire in your soul, makes your heart sing with joy when you are doing it, and makes the world a better place. It may not be obvious what that something is at this moment, but that’s okay. Instead, remind yourself constantly that everything you achieve comes down to you. The first thing you need to do is master your psychology. Your beliefs control your thoughts, your thoughts control your emotions, your emotions control your feelings, your feelings control your words, and your words control your actions. Believe it or not, all of these things are in your realm of control and they have everything to do with the amount of pleasure and pain you experience in life.

Try volunteering at some local charities or service organizations to get an idea of what calls to you and what kind of needs you may be able to fulfill or relieve in your community. Next, think about your abilities and see if you can match any of them to the local needs in a philanthropic way. You may even discover a career opportunity or a business opportunity once you unleash your authentic voice and creative problem solver. If this feels worthwhile and stirs up a longing for more in your heart then start thinking and looking globally for more opportunities to help make the world a better place. If you don’t have the skills you need to do what it is your heart calls you to do, then start learning those skills. There are abundant, inexpensive online classes, courses, and training for just about anything you can imagine. I will share some links at the end of this article.

Recognize that you have intrinsic worth and value that cannot be taken away. No one else will ever have the same exact face, body, skin, eyes, ears, nose, mouth, hands, feet, teeth, hair, voice, or life experiences that you have had. No one else ever has or will ever have this exact same opportunity for divine physical expression that you have at this moment. What you see as limitations are your own unique gifts that enable you to cultivate the perfect aspects of yourself necessary to transcend your challenges and transform your perceived failures and mistakes into a masterpiece of growth, accomplishment, and service that only you, at this very moment in time, could have conceived of. Use your life experience as the catalyst to uncover your unique genius and divine talents meant to help transform yourself and the world.

There is absolutely nothing that you need that you don’t already have inside you. It’s simply a matter of accessing it and accepting it. If there really are areas where you feel you need improvement, take the necessary steps to begin that process or ask someone who has done it for help. There is no shame in admitting that you need help and help is always available to those who accept it with grace and gratitude. Remind yourself every day that your success is soulfully contingent on your desire, dedication, and forward momentum. Your attitude, character, and actions are all controlled by you. Success is not determined by the number of digits in your bank account, but by the personal satisfaction, zest for life, fulfillment of purpose, and the number of lives positively impacted by your presence.

Finally, you do not have to figure this all out by yourself. Human beings were meant to live in community with each other. We thrive when we are surrounded by supportive, compassionate, loving, like-minded individuals that see the best in us and help realize our full potential. If you don’t already have family or friends that fill this role you can always look for local meetup groups, volunteer groups, classes at local community centers or colleges, a counselor, a personal development coach, or even Facebook groups that cater to personal growth, though the more individual and in person experiences you can find, the better.

As a personal development, wellness, and fulfillment coach I know first-hand how important it can be to find the right person or people to help you address sabotaging beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors and uncover your gifts, talents, and passion or mission. I am in the process of starting a meetup group that will support women in personal and professional empowerment. If you would like to know more about it send me a message with ‘women’s empowerment group’ as the topic. I would be honored to be of service to you as you discover your authentic voice, find your truth, rediscover your power and purpose and move into a life of freedom, happiness, vibrant health, passion, and fulfilling success. Message me or sign up for a Free Rapid Results consultation to see if we would be a good fit to uncover your inner gold mine and create the life you’ve dreamed of!

Free and low- cost Online educational opportunity links

General – children & Adults


Math, Data, Science, Engineering

Web Design/Development

General College/University

IT & Software Development

6 comments on “How to Overcome Self-Sabotage Part 8 – Settling for Less

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